So, it's been a week. I most definitely did something out of my comfort zone this week ( which was my goal) and went to the mothers club social! It was not easy to open up to new people but, I did it. I will be going to the first play group on Wednesday. Looking forward to it :)
Today I got to watch a whole movie by myself ( twlight new moon) while being cozy and drinking a cup of tea during Sadie's nap. It was soooo relaxing! I will definitely be trying to do this more while she is napping. I also tried to not have the tv on after she woke up today. Tv for the last month had been my babysitter... I'm ashamed to say. I have just been so lost since my father past it was all I could do to get us through the day. It (tv) has really made an impact on Sadie, that's all she wants - to watch tv. We listened to music all afternoon and evening and it was great! She went to bed without a hitch :) Very proud of Anthony and myself.
I also watched some videos tonight that I took while my grandma was visiting last summer... My dad was in them. They were hard to watch, but comforting to hear his voice one more time. I spent the rest of the night crying. I miss him, so much. Shock is a funny thing. It comes and goes. At least, that's what I have experienced. Somedays it's like it never happened, I'm happy and smiling as if he's still here but I just haven't seen him in a while. Others, it's just unbelievably real, and scary, and sad, and hard....
Quote today is from my dad, the few words he spoke in that video.
( referring to Sadie) " ope, not quick enough" ....
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