Day 7

So, it's been a week. I most definitely did something out of my comfort zone this week ( which was my goal) and went to the mothers club social! It was not easy to open up to new people but, I did it. I will be going to the first play group on Wednesday. Looking forward to it :)
Today I got to watch a whole movie by myself ( twlight new moon) while being cozy and drinking a cup of tea during Sadie's nap. It was soooo relaxing! I will definitely be trying to do this more while she is napping. I also tried to not have the tv on after she woke up today. Tv for the last month had been my babysitter... I'm ashamed to say. I have just been so lost since my father past it was all I could do to get us through the day. It (tv) has really made an impact on Sadie, that's all she wants - to watch tv. We listened to music all afternoon and evening and it was great! She went to bed without a hitch :) Very proud of Anthony and myself.
I also watched some videos tonight that I took while my grandma was visiting last summer... My dad was in them. They were hard to watch, but comforting to hear his voice one more time. I spent the rest of the night crying. I miss him, so much. Shock is a funny thing. It comes and goes. At least, that's what I have experienced. Somedays it's like it never happened, I'm happy and smiling as if he's still here but I just haven't seen him in a while. Others, it's just unbelievably real, and scary, and sad, and hard....
Quote today is from my dad, the few words he spoke in that video.
( referring to Sadie) " ope, not quick enough" ....

Day 6

A lot has happened in the last few days... Saw a couple doctors for my injuries and they are happy about my diagnosis from the neurologist of having TOS. Also might have a tare in my shoulder so more MRI's to come.. One doctor referred to the past year as "the lost year". That rang very true to me. It absolutely was the lost year of my life. Filled with stress, pain, uncertainty and grief. I hope this next year will be one of healing, closure and happiness.
I went to the new members social and met some nice ladies. I have some PMC events coming up to look forward to and hopefully make some new friends.
Lost of tension and stress surrounding my marriage this weekend. Had a few intense fights that we both feel bad about. Our therapist has us working on recognizing the triggers of our arguments, but so far we have been unsuccessful ... It's hard when we both have so much on our plates and the littlest thing escalates into something so ridiculous and have no idea how we got to that point. I am determined to work on my self and my part in these arguments!
On a lighter note- today my amazing husband made me a fantastic breakfast and homemade chicken noodle soup for Sadie and I since we are fighting a cold. He let me get a couple of hours of rest so now it's his turn to do something good for himself and went golfing with a friend. So far a great end to a long eventful weekend.
Love my little family <3

Day 3

Well, been fighting something the past couple of days. My little one is sick too :( I did manage to cook a new recipe yesterday, shepherds pie! I used sweet potatoes instead of the traditional yukon golds. Turned out fabulous! ( so says my husband) Been eating healthy and feeling good mentally. Missing my dad today. It was a rough ride to work this morning. Sometimes certain songs will make me think of him and all I can do is cry.... Went on a walk at lunch and cleared my head with a good chat with a good friend, I really needed that. Found out that I probably won't get anymore hours back at work, even if I do make a full recovery. I was sad about that, but understanding. I'm ment to do something greater in life, that's what I'm taking it as. We will see what happens :)
Quote today :
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together...

Day 1

Today is March 20, 2012. I guess I should have started this on April 1st since that day was the catalyst in my life. But, for the sake of good karma i will start it a little early...
April 1st of 2011 (yes April fools day) I was in a car accident on my way to work, and so began the hardest year in my life. This blog is to give me the strength and empowerment I need to help set my life in a new direction. One without stress and pain. Without negativity and regrets. A positive outlook on living and making it the best life i can possibly live.
I will set goals monthly, sometimes daily. Post quotes and affirmations to help lift me up when I need it. I will try new things and go out side of this little "box" that I have been living in and called my life. This next 365 days also hold some very big events that are coming in my life. My 5th wedding anniversary, my 10th year at my work and my 30th birthday. All things I look forward to and am excited to blog about. It will also be the first year of my life without my father. He passed away suddenly last moth, hence the very event that has made me wake up and start to make a change in my life. Besides the accident which has left me with multiple problems ;chronic pain, loosing my full time job, loss of income, bouts of  depression and has caused tremendous stress on my marriage. The last year has by far been filled with as may life changing events as you can imagine. but now, I'm going to grow from it. I have been living in this world of "why me" and "it cant possibly get any worse"- and then it does. So there is nothing left to do but simply make a change. And today is the first day.

Today i am starting a detox. Both physical and mental. This will help give me a clear mind and healthy body in which i need to start this journey.

Goal for the month is to loose 10 lbs and get healthy.
I have also joined a gym and a mothers club and help give me the support that I'm looking for and hopefully making some new friends.

Goal for the week is to do something outside of my comfort zone. Just a little something.

Quote that I'm really feeling today is  " Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life" - JK Rowling